Sabbatical begins

Beginning this blog has encountered many roadblocks for me......mostly from a psychological place where I just wasn't ready to begin. And when I was in was unable to get my Bluetooth keyboard to connect . So...c'est la vie. Here we go

My first post then is a reflection on the gift that sabbatical time is. There are few professions that have such opportunities and I want you to know that I do see it as a gift. Being off in this way allows me to evaluate what I do each day as to its value, efficiency, efficacy and contribution to the larger mission of what it means to do and be church. It's a time to step back, regroup somewhere of the extra expenses energy and reinvest in my own body, mind and soul. 

Thus the reason to begin with this trip to Thailand. To be alone in a strange place, with a language I don't speak or understand is a disorienting thing for me. It both excites me and scares me . It forces me to be in survival mode at times, to be vulnerable and rely on the kindness or whim of strangers and to live into feelings I don't often have of being lost and disoriented. As an extrovert being alone can be a challenge. As I've aged my need\desire for alone time in my own space and culture has increased and found its own rhythm. Here I've had the opportunity to come face to face with some of my own demons....fear and loneliness are not a common occurrence in my life any more as they once were at earlier times of my life .

It has been interesting to me to live into these feelings and to just sit with them. Not try and have them but just to see the world through these lenses. This coupled with residual grief at the recent loss of my friend and mentor has made for some intense moments. My ongoing disorientation with my surroundings, getting lost and turned around in Bangkok constantly, adjusting to a 14 hour time difference, new foods, smells, heat, language etc all contribute to these feelings. And I'm grateful to just sit with the feelings and let the learnings and insights emerge.

However, do not think I'm deluded into believing I have any of the same levels of vulnerability that so many I've meet as servers etc in this city. People come from all over the country and from other regions to find employment and hope for a better life. White Male privilege is still mine with access to money, a secure place to close the door behind when it's too much and the freedom to leave when the experience is over. I'm cognizant of all that while staying present to mine and others experiences.

So,. Periodically I will post here about some reflections on myself, the world and the intersections . Next blog will be about temples, worship and tourism. I'll write that in the next day or so.

Thanks for reading, making this journey with me and for your support.

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And so it begins.....